My Childhood Friend, Love Interest, and Teacher
by AnIdiotIsBetterThanAKnowItAll
Summary: We were friends when I was born. Friends for twelve years after that. Then you decided to abandone me and return four years later as my teacher? Well this just won't do. You'll have to feel the wrath of a broken hearted sixteen year old Sensei Sesshomaru.
1. Chapter 1

My Childhood Friend, Love Interest, and Teacher

Rin POV:

I could tell I wasn't sleeping soundly. When did that happen anymore? I flipped over abruptly, knowing somewhere in my subconscious that I could wake up if I wanted to. However, this was the only time I got to see Sesshomaru anymore: In my dreams.

In my dream, a 15 year old Sesshomaru walked home a 9 year old me. We were returning from his house, me having walked there back when I could visit to him anytime I pleased, which to a nine year old with no limits, was daily. He lived in my neighborhood at that time. My grandpa had known his dad and I was introduced to him at a young age.

He was my best friend, at least one-sidedly. I never quiet found out what he thought of me; the age difference was amazing considering he was already entering his second year of high school while I was just starting fourth grade. He never showed any distaste for my company though. He always treated me like his adorable childhood friend. My imagination, however, got the better of me and I often imagined us getting married one day.

He held my hand on the way, mostly because a younger and shameless me had guilted him into it by saying that I would get lost or stolen. He laughed it off at first, but to show that I meant business, I purposely ran off during a brief moment while he wasn't looking. When he found me, he cursed under his breath in annoying, though he sounded more relieved than anything, and took my hand. It'd been the same ever since. It wasn't that I couldn't make the journey. It was only a couple blocks and I did it alone every day on the way over when he wasn't with me. I think in his eyes, it was more that if something so simple would make me happy, why not comply?

On this particular walk, I was once again imagining our extremely unlikely, however, in my eyes, almost destined, wedding day. Sesshomaru saw the thoughtful look in my eyes, and being as impatient as he was, definitely wasn't going to _not_ inquire my expression.

"What's up with you?"

I looked up at him, blushing, before turning away. "Nothing."

Sesshomaru bent down, looking me playfully in the eyes. "Rin, you know as well as I do that I can get you to admit to anything, willing or not."

I grimaced. He was 100% right. I had no fight in me when it came to him asking me a question with any amount of seriousness in his eyes.

"Fine. But if I have to tell you, you have to make me a promise." I stated. I wasn't about to tell him one of my most embarrassing secrets without him giving something in return.

He nodded, almost mockingly.

I struggled for words, before finally decided to put it plainly, into one statement so that I wouldn't have time to regret it.

"You have to promise to wait for me. Wait until I'm old enough, and when I am, you have to marry me. It doesn't matter how ugly I get in the future, a promise is a promise." It all came out in a rush, though I was sure he understood by how intently he seemed to be listening and the sudden sound of his laughter afterwards.

"You'll never be ugly, Rin. I see you get prettier and prettier every day. Why would you need me when I'm sure you must have at least three boyfriends in your class?"

I pleaded with myself not to let his flattery effect the color in my cheeks. I was almost positive I'd failed, but kept my strict façade anyways. "Promise"

"Promise." He stated, playfully holding a hand up as if taking a vow in court.

I smiled, as we continued walking. "_Promise_, promise?"

He thumped me on the head, laughing as I quickly checked the area for a bump. "A promise is a promise, just like you said."

I intended on him keeping that promise too, for years after that, I never gave up on his promise to one day marry me.

I grinned, excited that the image of us at the altar had just become more reachable. At that moment, Sesshomaru's expression changed as he began waving at a girl who I didn't quiet recognize leaning against a car that appeared to be hers. Was she older than him? A good kind of older: Seventeen at the oldest. She waved back cheerfully.

The girl was pretty, to my dismay, and she seemed nice according to her enthusiasm. I didn't mind her, however, figuring she was merely a friend of Sesshomaru's and knowing that I shouldn't make enemies where they aren't needed. Sesshomaru, however, decided that the girl needed much more acknowledgement than a wave.

He looked down at me, almost as though I was troublesome for the first time in my life. "Do you think you could walk the rest of the way by yourself?" He asked.

I tried not to show my dismay as I nodded and walked around him. I could feel his eyes on my back not even for a second before he turned his attention to the other girl, who I wasn't sure whether or not to classify as a rival yet.

"Who was that little girl? She was cute." The girl asked him.

"One of my neighbors." He replied, before quickly abandoning the subject. "So what's been up? I've been wanted to hang out for a while but I never see you around anymore."

"Not much. I've just been working a lot." I saw the flirty undertone to her voice that he seemed to be going along with.

I tried to block that part out internally. I woke up to the sound of my cell phone. I was actually relieved to not have to remember the rest of that dream. All of my dreams of Sesshomaru were merely memories, some that I didn't like recalling. I looked at the time seeing that it was only a couple minutes before I had to get up anyways. I considered sleeping in before deciding that was pointless since I was already sitting up.

I jumped out of bed, rather quickly considering I was still slightly upset because of the dream I'd just woken up from. I could still remember Sesshomaru perfectly, though I hadn't seen him in four years. He'd left when I was twelve to go to college to pursue his teaching career. He should have gotten out of college this semester though, I wouldn't know considering he'd stopped calling less than a year after he left. Christmas Break had just ended and I was excited about getting back to see my friends. I wasn't quite popular…by my standards. Everyone seemed to expect things out of me, things I didn't feel I was obligated to do. I don't like to fight; disrespect teachers; sleep around; do drugs, yet everyone treated me the same as the most popular girl in school, Yuka, who _did_ happen to do all of those things.

My real friends, however, as in the ones who treated me the same even in junior high when I wasn't very well liked at all, were the ones I treasured most. I had no idea what the reason was for people changing their views of me. Perhaps it was that I had apparently become "pretty" by high school standards, though the definition of beauty was debatable. I considered myself quite average: Long black hair that was bi-polar as to whether it wanted to be straight or wavy day-to-day, chocolate brown eyes, extremely light skin no matter the season, and a…not bad body. I'd been a runner since middle school and had found out I had quite a knack for it. I'd soon gotten nicely toned legs and my butt was quite large for my stature of 5' 1", which I didn't so much mind, some girls were mean about it though. I was a C cup, not much bigger than normal for someone my size. I'd never measured my waist since I'd never been insecure about it before. By the age most girls become insecure about that kind of thing, I already had way too many guys making guesses on my measurements to give them what they want by taking my _real_ measurements.

I walked to the bathroom to take a quick shower. I towel dried my hair when I got out and brushed my teeth. I wiped my mouth off on the towel draped over my shoulder before going back to my room.

*Pictures of Rin and Sesshomaru's outfit's on my profile* I walked to my dresser and roughly pulled out a black shirt with a bear picture on the front. I opened my drawer and unfolded a pair of white skinny jeans that could match pretty much anything. I picked up one of my favorite pairs of shoes, red with simple cartoons on the side, which went well with the top. I let my pajamas drop to the floor and quickly changed into my outfit for the day.

I took a quick look in the mirror, realizing my hair was decidedly wavy today. I had about twenty minutes left before I had to leave. I wondered whether I should take a quick nap, knowing that as soon as I got to school I would be falling asleep in all my classes, however, most of the time I was able to do away with my drowsiness after first period. I looked at my small collection of makeup given to me by my mother about a year ago on my shelf, untouched, contemplating using my last twenty minutes, my nap time, on that. I'd never used make-up, having grown up with two brothers I'd never asked anyone to teach me. I didn't really want to learn.

All of my girl friends had encouraged me to try to try it since last year, my older brothers, however, both protective, wouldn't have it, saying it was hard to find a girl with natural beauty nowadays and that I was perfect the way I was. I chose to give into my brothers requests to keep me innocent and didn't touch it. I went back to sleep for the next fifteen minutes, having set my phone alarm, and woke up five minutes before I had to leave. I grabbed my bag and jogged downstairs, though not quite in a hurry. I looked to the kitchen table on my way out, having something catch my attention. There was a granola bar and a Starbucks coffee sitting next to it. I smiled, picking up the paper obviously left by whoever left me breakfast.

"Have a good day at school, Shorty." It read. The nickname made it obvious that it was left by the older of my two brothers, probably before he left for work this morning.

I ate the granola bar on my way out the door, throwing the wrapper in the outside trashcan. I took a small drink of coffee, wondering if he's purposely bought French vanilla, knowing it was my favorite. The walk to school wasn't long. I found Kagome and Sango quickly, a few of my real friends. We walked together, discussing our breaks. I didn't mention a lot, knowing they'd probably been saving much more to talk about today and I didn't want to interrupt them. As I got to my first period class, I took the last drink of my coffee, allowing Kagome and Sango to continue on to their own classes. I decided I didn't want coffee breath; I pulled a stick of gum out of my backpack and attempted to make a basket in the trash with my glass coffee container. I missed, not surprise there. I was surprised, however, when I didn't hear the clang of it hitting the floor. I looked down to see it'd landed on someone's foot. I looked up in shock.

"I'm so sorry!..." Was all I could manage before I saw the face of the person it had landed on. I knew that face. It was the face that haunted my dreams every night

"Hello Rin." Sesshomaru's low, familiar voice echoed in my ears. I hadn't heard it in three years. Just those two words made to want to drop to my knees. However, another side of me wanted to hit him until _I_ was hurting, to repay him for the three years of neglect he'd given me. "Is this your class?"

I nodded, shakily, my eyes not leaving his; curious as to whether this was another dream. Had I not woken from my nap this morning?

"Well then I suppose I'll be your homeroom teacher this semester." He said with a slight smile. Nothing like I'd seen from him before. It was such a casual smile, a smile you would give any of your students, not to someone you'd known for twelve years before deciding you don't want to have anything to do with their life.

He noticed I wasn't moving, so decided to take the first step inside the class. As I saw him walk in, my brain began to recover from shock and was willing to recognize what he'd just said to me. 'I'm your homeroom teacher'!

***Welllll? Haha I'm really excited about this story you guys! I have a lot of ideas for it(: I hope you guys keep reading! :P I'm gonna try to update pretty regularly so stay updated :D R&R please! ***


	2. Chapter 2

*Hey Guys(: Pretty quick update, huh? :P My school got out for summer yesterday so I'll try to post more often than usual. Please enjoy chapter 2*

Sesshomaru POV:

It was slightly awkward seeing Rin after so long. She'd become more beautiful than I ever could have imagined. She'd sadly become my _exact_ preference without even knowing what my ideal type of woman was. Her face was child-like, bringing about a sense of innocence just by looking at her. Her body was perfect. She had grown into a young woman with nice assets, though she was short for an average sixteen year old, it only made her childish facial features stand out more. And her eyes reminded me of a younger time in my life, in both of our lives. I could see her personality hadn't changed much over the last few years. She froze when she saw me. For some reason it seemed like I effected her strongly, even after years of not having heard from me. Perhaps I was merely being cocky. Maybe she'd figured she wouldn't see me again and was surprised to see me so soon.

She was my student though; a sophomore at that. I repeated several thoughts in my head, attempting to convince myself not to think of her the way she wanted me to…the way she _used_ to want me to. She must've changed over the years, and the fact that she'd become more beautiful than any of the girls I'd seen in years, since I'd last seen her, must mean that she was interested in plenty of guys, who would definitely be interested in her in return, having forgotten about me, forgetting about the promise I made to eventually marry her. I never intended on keeping that promise. However, it was going to be hard not to think of Rin as mine, the way it'd been since we were young. She didn't know it; I was overly-protective of her. Perhaps it was more of a brotherly way back then, but knowing that she used to have feelings for me, the possessive male part of me couldn't help but feel that I had some claim over her, then and now.

I tried to put the thoughts of Rin aside for now. I was just glad that in high school students had several teachers every day, meaning I wouldn't have to pretend to ignore her for eight hours a day. Only one; I could handle that.

I opened my desk and found an unopened pack of chalk. I pulled out a piece and wrote my name on the board as the bell rang.

"Good morning, Class. I'm going to be your first period teacher this semester. My name is Sensei Sesshomaru. I prefer that, last names are too formal for me." I said with a grin.

Rin sat back in her chair, seeming to be in another world. I let her be, knowing I would be the same way had I not had a class to teach. It took me about half the class to realize that I _had_ indeed signed up to teach juniors, knowing well that Rin was currently a sophomore and hoping to avoid her. Was she advanced? I wasn't really surprised, she'd always been bright.

Class went by slowly, most likely because I was constantly glancing at Rin, hoping her focus would come back to me rather than the specs of dust in the room. I wasn't hoping for her attention so she could learn though, I was hoping for it because I wanted her to notice me, as I noticed her.

When the bell rang I sighed internally before bidding the class an upbeat farewell, disguising the mess I was on the inside; all because of Rin. I put away my books, trying to remember whether I had a class second period or not. I stopped all thought processes when I saw Rin walking to my desk with an open smile.

"Sesshomaru, I need to talk to you real quick." Rin began.

"I don't think you should refer to me so casually, Rin." I told her professionally, though I knew as well as she did that it was practically impossible for her to be formal with me after all the years we'd known each other before now.

"What? You want me to call you Sensei? You're only a few years older than me. Besides, you're the one who said you wanted closure with your students." She retorted. I grimaced, she was right.

"Fare enough. What is it you need?"

"…Why didn't you call me? It's been years and you've ignored me, even when I called you time after time; left message after message." She told me, seeming to try to compose herself, succeeding better than I was.

"…I…" I began, not knowing how to honestly answer that. Why _had_ I ignored her? It seemed stupid, being face to face with her now and wondering what exactly kept me away from her. Was it because I didn't want to say goodbye to the party life I was living in college? Several different girls every night. Free drinks at all the parties I went to. Was I trying to avoid her, knowing she was somewhere in my future. She'd been more mature than me when I was in college while she was just starting high school. Thinking toward the future unlike me.

"I didn't really think about you." I lied, using the first bluff that came to mind.

Her mouth went slightly agape for a moment before she closed it. "Do you even remember the promise you made me?"

"…No." I lied again, not allowing my expression to give me away. Her face went hard, seeming not to want me to know what she was thinking either. I was surprised she remembered our promise to get married; it was made over five years ago.

She didn't respond, instead she quickly walked her small, angry frame out the classroom door.

Rin POV:

I couldn't believe it. I'd hoped Sesshomaru could redeem himself for having such a lame excuse for not calling me by at least remembering the promise he'd made me, the promise I'd held onto for the past four years. He only made it worse.

I didn't feel like going to Spanish class next period. I waited for the hallways to clear, purposely avoiding Kagome and Sango, not quite wanting to talk about it, before heading to the back of the school. I sat down under the shade of a large oak tree on the grass, laying my head against it in thought as I closed my eyes.

I didn't know the current Sesshomaru. The question in my mind was whether I wanted to get to know the new Sesshomaru. If not, what was my other option? Forget about him? I knew that would be impossible after all the memories I had with him, as much as I'd loved him ever since I was a child. I quickly abandoned the thought. So I suppose I would get to know the new Sesshomaru. Who knows, maybe he hadn't become so different. Maybe the Sesshomaru I knew was fake; my child-mind had made him to be such a better person than he was, refusing to see him as anything less than perfect. That was very likely, I tended to change things into what I wanted them to be, it made life easier to think about when you didn't always like what was surrounding you.

I let one, tear fall as I thought about the one I loved being only real in appearance. Everything about his motives, personality, even his care for me could have all been my imagination. I shook my head at the thought. Even if everything about him was a lie, I refused to believe that he didn't care about me. Even if it was only as a parent cares for a child, or as an owner cares for a pet, he cared for me in some way.

I wiped away the forgotten tear sitting on my cheek. I didn't have a choice. For my own happiness, I would get to know Sesshomaru as he is now, without trying to change him. I felt somewhat like a villain, making someone into something they weren't was wrong. I sighed to myself, facing myself away from the school. I wasn't quite ready to go to class yet, but I had decided on what to do about Sesshomaru, having thought about it for only a few minutes made it seem much better than just having a bunch of jumbled thoughts. I closed my eyes again, deciding to take a short nap to clear my mind. Before a moment passed, I felt the presence of someone around me. I opened my eyes abruptly, feeling paranoid. I relaxed when I saw Kohaku's figure standing over me, looking down with curious eyes.

"Rin? You feeling okay?" He asked, concerned.

"Well no, but I do feel better than I did." I replied with a smile, though I didn't mean 'feel better" in the sense he did.

He smiled his easygoing smile that always made me feel as relaxed as he did, contagious even. "Want some company?" He asked, already taking his seat beside me before I had time to reply.

I didn't mind though. Kohaku had been my friend since freshman year and he was a good in the literal sense and more innocent than almost every boy his age, even some girls. He hadn't gone to my junior high but I was sure that if he had he would have been one of the few to become my friend or at least reserve his insults toward me.

"What are you thinking about?" He asked with a gentle smile.

"It's not a big deal. I was just thinking about the past: What I used to be, the people I used to know, compared to the life I have now and the people I know." I responded vaguely.

"You don't like the change?" He assumed, most likely going off of my expression.

"It's not that…" I began, not sure whether I wanted to be completely open with him. "Change isn't good most of the time. If I had the choice of something changing or continuing to live unaware, I think I would be happier being kept in the dark. The more you find out; the more things progress, the worse things get. That may be kind of general, and it may not always be true, but that's what I feel like right now." I told him truthfully.

"Rin, have I ever told you I want to be a therapist when I grow up?" Kohaku asked, watching me twirl a piece of grass in my fingers.

"No. You've never told me that." I said, having to look up at him though we were both sitting.

"Well I do. What will I do though if I wanna help one of my patients in the future but they don't wanna tell me exactly what's wrong?" He asked.

I grimaced, understanding he was directing his words to me. "You want more details?"

He nodded, smiling innocently. I took a deep breath, preparing myself to open up about my problem without getting emotional.

"Well, it's about someone I used to know. I've known them since I was born and I actually fell in love with them and haven't really stopped. When I was young, he promised me that we would get married when I was older. They went to college a few years ago and stopped calling me after a couple years. I didn't want to think about him, but I couldn't help it. My life had become centered around him, and without realizing it or meaning to, I've been waiting for his return since the day he left. Today I met him again." I stopped for a moment, feeling my chest tense up and my breathing become uneven. "He's my teacher now. He won't even act as though we used to be friends, he only treats me as a student and when I asked why he stopped calling me, he sounded like it wasn't any big deal to him and it shouldn't have been to me either. I've remembered his promise to marry me that he made over seven years ago. When I asked him if he remembered anything of the sort, it was like I was speaking another language. It's as though he has no memory of me before today, when I became just another student."

Kohaku looked at me for a moment. "Perhaps it's not because he doesn't remember you. He might just not want to pursue you until you graduate and there wouldn't be a chance of him losing his job over seeing you outside of school. Don't be mad; be patient. It might come in handy. And if he doesn't change, and he really has forgotten about you…then he's the only guy in the universe who's capable of not falling in love with you after finding out that you have feelings for them."

His expression was serious. I knew he'd added the last part for my benefit but I appreciated it. I smile at him, turning away from the sky that I'd seemed to be staring at for an eternity. "Thanks, Kohaku. I needed to hear something like that. You're gonna make a great therapist in the future."

He stood up, brushing off his knees. "Thanks. I hope therapist skills will come in handy in my career as a doctor." He said will a small smirk.

I gave him a bewildered look. "You mean therapist…?"

He laughed a small laugh. "I made that part up actually."

My jaw dropped slightly. "Why?"

"I figured you'd feel better after talking about it. It doesn't take someone who charges two-hundred dollars an hour to listen as a friend." I responded.

"Forget becoming a doctor! You need to be an actor! I didn't think you were lying for a second." I told him with wide eyes.

He tried to hold in a laugh and failed. "Not really, Rin. You're just really gullible."

"Not all the time though." I said, attempting to redeem myself. He didn't respond for a moment which made me worry. "…Right?"

"…Don't worry. It's cute." He said before turning to head back to the main building.

I looked at the ground in embarrassment. I could hear the soft sound of his footsteps for a moment before they came to a sudden stop. I looked up in confusion, seeing Sesshomaru standing in front of him in an intimidating manner.

"Rin? Don't you think you should be getting to class?" Sesshomaru asked.

I nodded, slowly, confused as to why he'd come outside. I could get my hopes up and allow myself to think he'd been looking for me but I stopped myself.

"You…" He began, direction his attention to Kohaku. "What are you doing out here with her?"

"I was…" Kohaku stuttered, obviously intimidated.

"I don't have to worry about you being a bad influence on this girl, do I?" Sesshomaru questioned, sounding a little irritable.

No Sir." Kohaku replied in an assured tone.

"Empty your pockets." Sesshomaru ordered.

Kohaku was about to reach into his pockets before he paused, seeming to remember something important. He glanced up at Sesshomaru who obviously wasn't intending on looking away for even a second. He sighed, pulling out a pack of cigarettes from his left pocket.

I was surprised for a moment but kept quiet. How could Kohaku smoke? He was such a good boy.

"Uh huh. You see, Kid, I actually know this girl personally and it would upset me very much if you were to get her involved in something as juvenilely stupid as _smoking_." Sesshomaru scolded. I was surprised that Sesshomaru had actually sounded…upset. It made me happy to know that I was important enough to him that he was still protective of me. It reminded me of when I was little.

"Yes Sir." He replied, keeping his eyes glued to the ground. Kohaku was actually about to put the cigarettes back in his pocket before being stopped by Sesshomaru.

"No way, Kid. Give em' here." Sesshomaru said rudely.

Kohaku hesitantly placed the cigarettes in Sesshomaru's hand. "Are you gonna tell on me?" He asked.

Sesshomaru paused for a moment, glancing at me sitting behind Kohaku. "…I don't know yet. Get to class."

Kohaku didn't miss the opportunity to leave. He practically ran until he was around ten feet past Sesshomaru.

Sesshomaru looked down at me for a moment, glancing away with a grimace.

"Did you know that your little friend smoked?" Sesshomaru asked, the irritation in his voice I'd heard when he'd been talking to Kohaku hadn't subsided in the least.

"No" I began, making unnerved eye contact with him unlike Kohaku who was intimidated by his very presence. "…Please don't tell on Kohaku! He's a good kid and his family has a lot of trust in him. Finding out he smokes would only upset them."

Sesshomaru looked away for a moment. "Why are you defending him? He didn't even tell you he smokes."

I shrugged, not quite sure of how to answer that. "He's my friend. Friends are supposed to help each other out no matter the situation. Trade your trust for their trust."

"Sounds like a lousy trade…" He replied.

I frowned. "Really? 'Cause I thought me and you were kinda like that…"

He looked down at me, pausing for a moment. "We are."

I stood up, frustrated. "…Then why aren't you acting like it? I haven't seen you in over four years and you won't even give me a hug?" I asked, still looking him intensely in his eyes.

Before I had time to react, I felt Sesshomaru's arms around me. I took a sharp intake of breath, realizing what was happening. I closed my eyes and rested my head on his chest. I wanted more, but Kohaku had been right, I needed to be patient and right now this would be good enough. Sesshomaru rested his chin on my head, seeming to be savoring the moment just as much as I was. "I missed you." I heard him whisper. I smiled into him, looking up at him for a moment. "I missed you too." When he let me go, he seemed unwilling, and me: I couldn't even tell whether he'd embraced me for ten seconds or ten minutes.

"I lied. I did think about you when I was in college. I'm sorry for not calling." Sesshomaru stated as soon as we pulled apart.

"Does that mean you also remember our promise?" I asked, hopeful for the first time in who-knows-how-long.

"…I…No. I don't remember. I'm sorry." He told me, seeming slightly disheartened.

"It was…" I began, not minding as much that he didn't remember; still happy that he'd hugged me for the first time in so long.

"Don't tell me! …I wanna remember on my own." He said, stopping me.

I paused, smiling at him for a moment. "Sounds good. You know, I've dreamed of you every night since you left."

His expression was almost solemn, like he felt _bad_ that I'd dreamed of him.

"Let's go back to class." He suggested, shrugging in the direction of the school.

I followed beside him, and for a minute, I was reminded of the peaceful times when he used to walk me home. I smiled to myself. I hadn't been forgotten by Sesshomaru, I'd been temporarily misplaced.

*****THIS IS NOT THE END!** I hate endings that force you to make up the rest of the story :P Haha I'm not like that(: I'm gonna give you guys a real story 'cause you deserve it :3 You don't have to use your own creativity to make up the rest of the story, that's what I'm here for :D Next chapter coming soon! Subscribe for updates and review please =)


	3. Chapter 3

*Hey Guys!(: Long time no update! :D This is chapter 3 of My Childhood Friend, Love Interest and Teacher! Thank you for being the best readers ever! :3 Enjoy!*

Sesshomaru's POV:

I was sick to my stomach as I walked with Rin through the empty hallways. Why would Rin have forgiven me so easily for what I'd said to her? I wasn't worth it and she didn't know the half of it. However, I didn't have to think long before remembering the type of person Rin was. She made an imaginary world for herself when she didn't like reality. I'd realized that early on in her life, and it obviously hadn't changed. When Rin was young, I was the only good in the world…to her. To everyone else, I was the Devil in disguise but I was her true definition of perfection. So much so, that she relied on me for everything, even as a love interest at one point in her life, though I was sure that'd subsided by now. I glanced at Rin through the corner of my eyes. The knot in my stomach twisted. I flinched, looking away from her for a moment.

What? Did you think the knot in my stomach was because I loved her? Quite the opposite. She made me sick. She reminded me to much of the old me: The me that I detested; the one who couldn't even control his emotions for a girl who was much too young for him. That's right, I've had feelings for Rin ever since we were both kids, even when we'd made that promise of ours to get married. It made me so happy back then, being able to see into her child-like mind. Now, seeing that nothing in her had changed, those her eyes still held that child like gleam that knew nothing of words such as guilt or accusation, disgusted me, knowing that I'd changed so much over the years.

A very small part of me, however, the humane part, wanted to run away from the situation altogether. If I'd known she went to school here I would have avoided her, instead, I walked right into the trap that she didn't know she'd set up. It wasn't her fault that I was set up to fall into a forbidden love with her, it wasn't her fault she was so perfect and child-like, just like I remembered, just like I loved. It wasn't her fault that I ended up with a job as _her_ specific teacher in _this_ specific school. And it wasn't her fault that as much as I hated to admit it…this "hate" that I claimed to have for her, was just an obvious love for her that I was doing my best to reject and failing miserably…and I knew it.

Rin POV:

Sesshomaru left me at the door of my second period class. I waved goodbye to him as he nodded his farewell. I could only pray that my teacher wouldn't be anyone that was particularly strict about arriving on time. I smiled, hoping to make a good first impression just in case the teacher was new, and opened the door. I was surprised to find Mr. Kato *Green Hornet fan! :D What are you gonna do about it? :P* standing in front of the class. He'd always liked me, and was sure to go easy on me, at least this once. He went off of how students did in the class more than their class participation, and I had A's in all of my classes. Mr. Kato glanced in my direction, looked back to the math book in this hand, and then looked back at me with a smile.

"Rin. It's nice to see you back in my class this year." He said, sounding pleasantly surpised. "Please take a seat." He directed to one of the empty chairs.

I was a little surprised he hadn't made a_ny_ mention of my absence for the first several minutes of class. I smiled at him, giving a small wave that could be taken as a "thank you" before heading to my seat. I was placed in between two boys who I didn't know the names of. It must have been my imagination, but I could've sworn they kept looking at me through their peripherals. What was wrong with me! I checked to see if there was anything wrong with my appearance, if I smelled, exc., as nonchalantly as I could.

At the end of class, which passed by quickly either because Mr. Kato was an amazing math teacher that had the uncommon ability to make math fun, or maybe it was because I'd missed almost half the class, I got up and headed for the door, seeing several of my friends on the way out. I gave them a few small waves, but I was in a hurry to get out, to see if I could catch Sesshomaru before my next class started. I heard two voices from behind me, I glanced back and saw that it was the two boys I'd been placed between earlier.

"She's the hottest chick I've seen in this hell-hole since my freshman year." I heard one say.

My eyebrows furrowed for a moment. I shrugged off the thought, not caring enough to listen to the rest of the conversation about whatever girl they were talking about.

When I came out of class, to my surprise, Sesshomaru was standing there, seemingly waiting for me. Maybe I was just being cocky, there must have been another reason for him to be there.

"You haven't been waiting for me, have you?" I asked, slightly hesitant.

He looked up and shook his head, seeming a bit confused. "Of course not. That wouldn't make much sense. It's a boyfriend's job to walk you to class, not mine."

I shrugged, trying not to let his last comment sink in too much. He was right, it wouldn't be right for my teacher to walk me to class, granted, we'd known each other practically since I was born, and there was no one Sesshomaru would have any sort of attraction to me, I didn't want to cause Sesshomaru trouble by raising the suspicions of other teachers. I didn't bother mentioning to him that he _had_, however, walked me to class once already. At the time, it would have been great to have a boyfriend to walk me to class, for me to hide in his shadow, keeping away from Sesshomaru's gaze and hiding the embarrassment that I was sure were showing through to my cheeks by now.

I nodded, trying and most likely failing, trying to hide the hurt in my expression due to his response. I turned to walk in the direction of my next class before I was stopped by a voice, none other than Sesshomaru's.

"Well, I suppose if you…might get lost…I mean, when we were younger, I remember you getting lost on the simplest road…" He chuckled at the end, letting the laughter show through to his eyes.

I looked at him, flustered at first. He still remembered that? How on earth then, could he not remember that one, very important promise he'd made me! I shrugged it off, registering that he'd just offered to walk me to class.

He came to walk beside me. "…You still remember me getting lost on our walks home, huh?" I asked.

He looked at me, entertained. "How could I not? You were so cute! Crying every time I found you, asking where we were!" I grimaced. He sure did have a good memory.

"…Y'know…I never got lost on accident. It was always for attention. I wanted more time with you, so I made it seem as though you _had_ to walk me home. It was wrong. I was sort of forcing you to spend time with me that you would've rather been doing something else with. I'm sorry…" I explained, honestly feeling bad for what my young, selfish self had done.

Not that I was any less selfish. I still wanted Sesshomaru all to myself. I still noticed an odd feeling come over me anytime today that I saw a girl, student or teacher, looking at Sesshomaru in the same way I did. I was still just as immature and possessive of him as I was when I was little. He had every claim over me that a human could have over another, then and even now, so my stupid human mind thought it only fair for me to have some sort of claim over him.

"Yeah…Let's forget about that now, huh? I mean, your child-like affections for me were obviously just that: child-like. Meaning you'd grow out of them, which you did, I believe. So let's just focus on now. I don't know if we should see each other quite as much as we did when we were younger. After all, you are just my student now. I don't know if you could really call us childhood friends after not having spoken in almost four years." He said with a smile obviously intended to be kind.

I looked up at him with the most pained expression, trying my very hardest not to cry. He'd just broken my heart in more ways than one. 1: He told me that my feelings for him were child-like. How dare him! I'd loved him since I was old enough to even have a slight comprehension of the word. I wasn't stupid! I knew that people thought of me as innocent minded, dense, all of those things. I knew it! In this though, I wasn't mistaken. I'd held onto my feelings for Sesshomaru for _years_ without any return in them whatsoever.

2: He told me that we wouldn't be seeing each other as often from here on. After four years of depriving me of even _talking_ to him, he has the nerve to try to act as though I'm just another _student_ to him? I couldn't imagine Sesshomaru being close enough for me to talk to and tag along with like old times, and me having to basically ignore every opportunity I got. The part of my life without Sesshomaru was hard, and the only thing that made it easier was that he was never around to remind me what I was missing, and though my heart knew it, my mind could pretend, temporarily, at least, that he wasn't as great as I'd always known he was.

And 3: Perhaps worst of all, he thought of it as though we were never really friends. He wanted to pretend that we had no history together before he entered the school. He said it himself, it was as though we'd never really been childhood friends after not having spoken for four years. Did he honestly think that? After I'd been holding on to every memory we'd had together, he'd been acting as though everything I'd been holding onto so fondly had never even happened, just because it'd been a few years?

And as much as I wanted to hate him for all of this, it only made me want to fight for him more. And I hated that about myself. I was born without the ability to give up. Or at least, I wasn't born with the ability to give up in love, particularly: love with Sesshomaru.

As these thought ran through my head in a blurry fist, Sesshomaru came to a halt and looked down at me, only a few inches in front of my face.

"…Rin?"

I looked up at him, I could feel that my eyes were smoldering into his. I didn't care. I wanted him to understand exactly what I was thinking, without me having to put my embarrassingly infatuated thoughts into words for him.

A tear fell from my eye onto my cheek. I sighed. I'd lost the battle. He knew I was upset now, whether or not he knew what it was over was unimportant. I didn't have to look around to know the halls were now empty, it was quite all around us and the bell was going to ring shortly, everyone would be in their appropriate classes by now. Sesshomaru thought my emotions were child-like? He thought I was an innocent little girl who never had, nor does, understand what love is? If that's so, I would take out my frustrations by acting as a child would in my situation.

I let all my tears fall, no longer restraining myself. I began pounding on Sesshomaru's hard chest with my fist, leaning into him as I hit him over and over, obviously not hurting him in the least. "How could you say that to me! How _dare _you say that to me! Do you really not understand! Do you really have no idea what I'm feeling? What I've always been feeling!"

I truly did feel like a small child. Pounding their tiny fist at the chest of a parent who didn't give them the answer they were looking for. And it felt good. Relieving, in a way, that I was able to take out my frustrations on Sesshomaru. Partially, at least.

Sesshomaru looked down at me with the most caring expression I'd ever seen. It amazed me that the same man had said only moments ago that it was as though we'd never known each other before then and yet, obviously cared enough to hold such a sad expression right now. He looked as though he wanted to do everything in his power to console me, but didn't really know what was wrong or what could make me feel better.

He began rubbing my back slowly, laying his head on top of mine in a sort of comforting way. I breathed into him. "…I'm sorry…What exactly did I say to hurt you? I take it back, whatever it is! I'm so sorry. I hate to see you cry, Rin. It's the worst torture ever!"

I couldn't help but giggle at that. I looked up at him with puffy eyes. "So, if u were in the military and another country was trying to torture you into spilling secrets about Japan…they'd just place an image of me crying in front of you?"

He responded with a very easy going-laugh, ruffling my hair. "Funny." He said sarcastically as the bell rang. "…I should finish walking you to class…" He said, sounding a bit disappointed.

"I don't wanna go to class right now!" I stated, stuffing my head in his shirt, wrapping my arms around him tightly.

Sesshomaru chuckled. "Do you normally skip this much?"

I looked up, shaking my head. "To tell you the truth, I've never skipped class once in my life. I suppose it's just when you're here." I said with a playful wink.

He looked a bit surprised, almost as if he was composing himself.

"Well, I don't have a class to teach next period. Where would you like to go?"

I looked at him, almost gawking. "Are…Are you serious?"

He smiled. "Sure. After all, there are special exceptions teachers have to make for childhood friends." He said, nudging me playfully.

I smiled widely at him. A few moments ago, Sesshomaru had just told me we wouldn't be seeing each other much anymore, now he was contradicting himself by saying we would be able to hang out when we technically "weren't supposed to" due to it being school hours and all… And I don't believe I'd ever encountered a contradiction that made me happier.

~Now, let's see what Sesshomaru was thinking during this conversation, shall we?~

Sesshomaru POV:

I waited outside of Rin's class, not really knowing what I was doing exactly. Only a few minutes ago, I'd finally made the decision to avoid Rin, and now I was planning on…walking her to class? This wasn't right. I stood up to leave just as Rin was coming out. I cursed to myself inwardly, pretending not to see her, but standing as though I hadn't been going anywhere.

"You haven't been waiting for me, have you?" She asked, sounding a bit hopeful, but still unsure.

"Of course not. That wouldn't make much sense. It's a boyfriend's job to walk you to class, not mine." I replied simply. Lying, of course. What else could a good-for-nothing like me do at that point?

Rin's expression looked a bit disheartened though. I couldn't bring myself to leave her.

"Well, I suppose if you…might get lost…I mean, when we were younger, I remember you getting lost on the simplest road…" I added on a laugh at the end, trying to sound casual as I thought up the most ridiculous excuse to stay with her, even if it was only for the next few minutes.

She smiled. I took this as Rin having been upset only because I wasn't going to walk her to class. The selfish part of me liked that. The part of me that wished with all my heart that Rin might like me even a fraction of how much I liked her. I took my place by her side as we began walking through the halls. "…You still remember me getting lost on our walks home, huh?" She asked, with a half curious/half embarrassed expression.

I wanted, so much to laugh at that moment. "How could I not? You were so cute! Crying every time I found you, asking where we were!" Her expression was unpleasant, which only made me want to laugh harder. Her embarrassment was the funniest thing to me, ever since she was a little girl.

"…Y'know…I never got lost on accident. It was always for attention. I wanted more time with you, so I made it seem as though you _had_ to walk me home. It was wrong. I was sort of forcing you to spend time with me that you would've rather been doing something else with. I'm sorry…" She replied, seeming ashamed. Rin had absolutely nothing to be ashamed of, whether it was innocent truths like that, or "dark secrets", that she may have considered dark, but any other high school-er would laugh at her petty sins in comparison to their own.

But as I twisted what she'd just said around in my head, I realized that this wasn't right. Even though her affections for me were long gone, it wasn't right for a student and a teacher to talk about things like this. I had to put this behind us, make sure it would never come up in the future. Make sure…we…would never come up in the future…Rin was too much of a temptation for me…she was my own, personal forbidden fruit. And I knew that the more I saw her, the longer I spent with her, the harder it would be to resist the pull she didn't realize she had on me, and would probably be disgusted if she found out about it. 'You're twenty-two, dammit!' I repeated over and over my head. I had to continue repeating them to myself as I told her my next words.

"Yeah…Let's forget about that now, huh? I mean, your child-like affections for me were obviously just that: child-like. Meaning you'd grow out of them, which you did, I believe. So let's just focus on now. I don't know if we should see each other quite as much as we did when we were younger. After all, you are just my student now. I don't know if you could really call us childhood friends after not having spoken in almost four years." I knew what I'd said was exactly what needed to be said. It was what any mature adult would do if they for some odd reason, like my own, found themselves heavily infatuated with a sixteen year old high school student. However, I couldn't help but want to take back everything I'd just said, and instead tell Rin how much I cared for her, in more ways than one, and force her to understand one way or another that I'd never stopped caring for her.

I looked down at her, waiting for her response. I'd figure she would be happy to hear that she wouldn't have to put up with me anymore, although I knew that this wasn't how most of the female population viewed me, after all my years of avoiding Rin, there was no way she felt anything when she looked at me other than bitterness. And I couldn't blame her. However, her expression was not one of relief or joy, instead she looked extremely dejected. Her expression was so far off I couldn't understand where her mind was even if I tried. She wasn't actually sad at what I said, was she? She couldn't have _wanted_ to spend more time with me, she couldn't have _wanted_ for me to still view us as good friends since childhood, and most of all, there was _no way_ she would still want me the way she did then after all these years. I knew it. I was sure.

"…Rin?" I asked, carefully, almost in a whisper as to not alarm her. I was honestly worried.

Her expression as she looked up at me killed me from the inside out. Whatever the reason, I _hated _seeing Rin like that. It was pure hell.

As I continued to stare at her unbearably sad expression, I saw a silent tear fall onto her cheek. It surprised me. What on earth did she have to be sad about? This was cheery Rin we're talking about. She never let anything get to her!

Before I had time to say anything else, Rin began pounding tiny fists onto my chest. I held my breath, unable to speak. I had no idea what'd brought her to that point. She was resorting to taking out her angry on me? And if that's what she wanted, so be it. I would rather take all of her anger and sadness for her than make her have to stand it for even a second. "How could you say that to me! How _dare _you say that to me! Do you really not understand! Do you really have no idea what I'm feeling? What I've always been feeling!"

I looked down at her with the most pained expression. I wanted to make her feel better, whatever I could do for her to fix whatever was wrong, I would do that. Anything she wanted, she deserved.

I couldn't help but want to touch her. She looked so helpless. I glided one hand along her back, gently, doing my best to comfort her. I placed her head under my own, closing my eyes as I said my next words. "…I'm sorry…What exactly did I say to hurt you? I take it back, whatever it is! I'm so sorry. I hate to see you cry, Rin. It's the worst torture ever!"

To my surprise, rather than let out a sob, or hit me again for not understanding. But to my surprise, she merely giggled and looked up at me with no longer sad eyes, but her face was stained from the tears and her eyes were still red and puffy. "So, if u were in the military and another country was trying to torture you into spilling secrets about Japan…they'd just place an image of me crying in front of you?"

Her expression, granted, the traces of her crying were still there, was the most seductive thing I'd ever seen from a sixteen year old. Her eyes were wide, her mouth was slightly agape, she was look up at me completely unaware…

However, I was so relieved to hear her sounding happy again, I couldn't help but laugh. "Funny." I said, subconsciously ruffling her hair. To my grief, the next thing I heard was the bell ringing. "…I should finish walking you to class…" I knew I was being selfish, but I couldn't help but want more time with her.

"I don't wanna go to class right now!" She said, shoving her head into my chest, hugging me, wrapping her short, little arms as wide around as she could get them. I almost gasped, the instant closure surprised me. Not in a bad way…or…I suppose in a bad way…I wanted more…She was starting to get to me in a way that a sixteen year old should never get to a twenty-two year old.

"Do you normally skip this much?" I asked, almost relieved to hear that she wanted to stay just as much as I didn't want her to go.

"To tell you the truth, I've never skipped class once in my life. I suppose it's just when you're here." She added a wink onto the end. I'd never seen Rin _wink_ before...I liked it.

"Well, I don't have a class to teach next period. Where would you like to go?" I asked, implying that whether she meant to or not, she'd just set us up on a date. I knew it was a bad idea, Rin had unintentionally left me extremely horny, just with the small things she'd been used to being able to do ever since she was a child. But it was different now. She was mature. And as child-like at she looked, she held a woman's sex appeal. I wasn't stupid though, I knew my restraints, and I wouldn't pass them with Rin…or I'd try…

Her mouth fell open, but not in a bad way. She looked…pleasantly surprised. "Are…Are you serious?"

"Sure. After all, there are special exceptions teachers have to make for childhood friends." I nudged her side, she gave a cheery smile back.

I sighed to myself. What had I just gotten my pervy self into? Alone with Rin for the rest of the day…

*Ha! Didn't think THAT was running through innocent little Sesshomaru's mind, did'ja? ;D Oh wait…innocent? I must be thinking of Rin O.o Don't worry though, guys, this is only a T rated fanfiction, and I _am_ only 15, not quite old enough to write anything too sexy, even if I wanted to *.* Anyways, please wait for my next update(: I know this one took a reallllly long time! My only excuse is…*thinks about it*…okay, I've just been lazy -_- Lol sometimes I need a little jumpstart though, you guys just keep the R&R comin' and I'll see what I come up with next :D What? U thought I _plannedddd_ these stories? Heck! I don't even know what's gonna happen next XP Haha like I said though, R&R, I'll try to make my next update really soon for you guys :3 Thanks for reading!*


	4. Chapter 4

*Hey Guys!(: I'm here to give you chapter 4 of My Childhood Friend, Love Interest, and Teacher! :3 Ummm...yeeeeah, you maaay have noticed that it's been a realllllllly long time since I updated O.o Well Iv'e been really busy with my friends and boyfriend *.* I'm sorry! T_T I have a social life too, y'know! :( Haha anyways, I plead your forgiveness, and hope you enjoy this chapter! :D*

Rin POV:

Sesshomaru walked me out to his car...correction- motorcycle. I stared at it for a moment, glancing back and forth between him and the bike. He reached for his keys before looking up and seeing my nervous expression. He chuckled.

"Haven't you ever been on a motorcycle?"

I shook my head furiously. "Iv'e hardly been on a regular bike! Let alone, one that can go 100 miles an hour!"

"120..." He said with a toothy grin.

I turned around and started darting back to the building. There's no way I could get on that thing! Even with the person I trusted more than anyone! There was no way! I wouldn't do it!

Before I'd gotten far at all, I felt a gust of wind as Sesshomaru came from behind me and picked me up mid-sprint. He must've assumed I would run to be able to catch up to me that fast. I gasped as he threw me over his shoulder and walked me back to the bike, patiently. I looked down to see an amused smile on his face.

"There's nooooo way! Sesshomnaru...I can't! I'm...I'm scared..."

He laughed, looking at me like I was the most precious thing since newborn babies. "Don't worry, Rin. You'll be with me! I admit, I'm not the safest driver when I'm driving by myself. But how dare you think I'd let anything bad happen to my most important person!" He reassured.

And those words, that little paragraph right above me, was just enough to get me over my fear of motorcycles. 'Cause I wouldn't be on a motorcycle by myself- I'd be on a motorcycle with my most important, most loving, person! The only person I knew who I would be willing to do what I was about to do with, or for.

I gulped, slowly grabbing the helmet that he'd offered me sometime during the rambling I was doing in my head. He smiled reassuringly- lovingly, I missed that smile so much! It was the smile I used to get to see everyday! I couldn't help but give a dorky little smile back at him as I buckled my helmet.

He then picked me up and placed me in the further back end of the seat. I looked up at him, holding onto the side of the seat, not able to touch the ground considering my height, and not having any pegs on my side of the bike. He sat down in front of me before looking back and noticing my feet hanging in mid-air. He chuckled.

"Put your feet on my pegs."

I gave him a puzzled expression. "Where will your's go?"

"On top of your's, Silly!"

I smiled, following his directions. He put his feet on top of mine, making my feet feel even more secure than they would with just the bike pegs.

"You're gonna have to hold on to me pretty tight, 'kay Rin?" He directed, looking back at me.

I nodded, slightly embarrassed, but still following his instructions. I wrapped my arms around his waist. As far as they would go, at least...I'd never been able to give him a full-fledged hug, just because of how built he was compared to my stubby arms.

I looked up and saw his bare head. "Where's your helmet?"

He laughed. "I hardly wear that thing when you're _not_ here, Rin, why would I wear it when you are? Like I said, your safety is the most important thing to me."

I gave a big smile hearing him say that. Then again, I wanted him to care about his own safety! But it was comforting to hear that he cared about me so much. I wanted it to be like this everyday! It felt just like when we were younger, but almost better! Now, he was actually giving innuendo that he may like me, rather than just being a wonderful brother figure. I imagined for a moment what it would be like if he actually felt that way about me, but the rev of Sesshomaru's engine stopped me from drooling.

"Don't forget, Rin! Don't let go of me for anything!" He re-enforced, talking over the engine.

I nodded, gripping him tighter. He took off a second later, before I even had time to take another breath.

The feeling was liberating. Feeling the wind all around me at over me at who-know-how-many miles an hour was great! And Sesshomaru got to feel this all the time! I was thanking the God above that Sesshomaru hadn't let me go when I tried to run. I should do this more often!

"Fun?" He asked.

I smiled widely, not that he could see. "Very! Thanks for letting me go with you!"

"Hold me tighter." He told me.

"Why?" I inquired, figuring I was holding him tight enough for plenty of security already.

"'Cause I asked you to." He said simply.

I was a bit surprised by his response. Surprised, and enthralled! I had no idea why he wanted me to hold him tighter, he'd given no reason. But I was glad to, and I was even gladder that he wanted me to! That he desired my touch, for whatever reason that might be.

I held him as tight as my weak little arms would allow. I heard him sigh and looked to his face and saw the cutest, most satisfied expression I would ever express to see on a non-sentimental guy like Sesshomaru. I smiled to myself, only hoping that I was what gave him that jubilant expression.

We didn't drive for much longer before we arrived at what appeared to be a house. A frikkin' nice house! I got off the bike, took off my helmet, and stared at him for a moment.

"Where are we?" I asked.

He smiled. "My house!"

My head tilted to the side. "Why are we here? Don't get me wrong! I'd love to go inside! This place is super nice! I'm just curious as to why."

"Well...you're a student who's outside of school- during school hours- I figured we shouldn't raise suspicions or cause people to ask questions. It's easier to just stay out of public right now. Plus, I'm also an adult male, it'd look pretty bad for me to be hanging around a teenager girl, who looks even younger than that!" He explained.

I ignored his last comment, nodding my head in understanding. "Well then what are we waiting for? I wanna see the inside!" I said excitedly, pulling him by the hand to the door.

He laughed at me, pulling out his key and unlocking the door for me. "Go ahead." He told me.

When I walked in, I looked around gloriously. It was the kind of home that seemed as though you shouldn't be allowed to touch anything, but the owner's nice enough and open enough that the home is extremely inviting.

There was no trace of clutter anywhere that I could see. My room only got like this when I knew someone would be coming to my house who I wanted to impress. Sesshomaru wasn't like that. He'd never been a messy person. At least, he never let it show through on the outside. In his mind, it could be a complete and utter mess! But he always kept his cool in any situation, no matter what.

He walked behind me, seeming to be looking at the same things I was, as though he'd never seen his own house before.

"Am I allowed to see your room?" I asked, pivoting around to look at him. As I did this, I couldn't help but noticed that my face was practically buried in his chest from how close he was. I wanted to gasp but I held it in, keeping my cool for once. I couldv'e been wrong, but I felt a bit of sexual tension between us at that moment. I shook the thought out of my head. Sesshomaru had just told me a few minutes ago that I could pass for a child if we went out in public together. There was no way I could appeal to him in that way at all.

"...Um...my room...no" He stuttered.

I pouted, wondering for a moment about the nervousness in his voice. "Why not?"

"'Cause it's my house. It's not like when we were kids and you were allowed to roam through my house as you please. This home is legally mine, not my parent's. So I'm allowed to tell you where you are and aren't allowed to go, aren't I?" He said, obviously expecting me to answer his last question rhetorically.

"...I'm gonna go!" I replied excitedly, running up the stairs before he had a chance to say anything.

He ran after me, but I was too quick for him! I opened a random door, hoping it was what I was looking for. BINGO! The room I was seeing was nothing like I'd expect Sesshomaru's room to be! It was a mess! Clothes, books, shoes, random items laying all over the place! I was in amazement, but that was before I put two and two together: Sesshomaru's room was like the his mind, but of his house.

I turned back to him with wide eyes. He'd _just_ caught up to me and was breathing unevenly. He was definitely embarrassed. I'd never seen this side of him before! I never thought I would...But I liked it! It reminded me that as perfect as Sesshomaru was, he was still human.

"I'm sorry...My room is messy too if it makes you feel better." I said slowly.

"I'm...I'm sorry. ...Well, I'm gonna be honest: I'm glad you're the one to see this." He told me, seeming to calm down by the end of his statement.

I smiled. I took this as him telling me that I'm the only one who he would be fine showing his full-self to. And I couldn't be happier! I wrapped my arms around him in a tight embrace, smiling into his chest. "I love you, Sesshomaru."

We both knew that this wasn't a confession of love for him, this was the other kind of love, the love that I'd been missing for years. The brotherly figure, the idea that he was everything to me in every way possible, we both knew that was what I meant. He hugged me back after a moment.

"I love you too, Rin. Iv'e missed you." He said.

"I missed this side of you. And every other side! There's nothing I needed more than to have you as my teacher and be able to see you every day of the week." I replied.

"Can I tell you a secret, Rin?" He asked.

"Of course!" I replied.

"When I stopped talking to you while I was in college...It was because I was trying to get over you..." He paused.

I looked up at him, loosening my grip on his waist. "What do you mean?"

"I...nevermind. Let's just say that I needed to be around more girls my own age...But it didn't work."

I tilted my head to the side, confused. "You didn't like having me around all the time?" I asked.

He shook his head. "No, I did! ...That was the problem."

Sesshomaru POV:

"Haven't you ever been on a motorcycle?" I asked a very nervous looking Rin, twiddling he thumbs while staring at my motorcycle with fear in her eyes.

She shook her head like a wet dog, her head still directed toward the floor. "Iv'e hardly been on a regular bike! Let alone, one that can go 100 miles an hour!"

"120..." I corrected, giving a devilish smile.

I knew Rin so well. She's the type to run from her fears. Or at least, the irrational ones. Fears that any normal person would have, she'd dive head first into danger. But something like riding a motorcycle with a person who would do anything including give his own life to keep her safe, she wouldn't do it.

Considering this, her next action didn't surprise me. Without even looking up, I knew she was darting toward the building from the sound of her small feet darting in the opposite direction. I caught up easily and swept her off the ground with one arm, throwing her over my shoulder and bringing her back to the car, smiling at her naivety. Did she honestly think that I would let her get away from this? Seeing her childish scared face was the cutest in the world! Yes- I still had an evil side, even when I knew that I was in love with her.

"There's nooooo way! Sesshomnaru...I can't! I'm...I'm scared..." She said sheepishly. The adorable fear in her voice was just as satisfying as I expected it to be, if not- more! Ever since she was little, her innocent voice, saying such things had always been one of her cutest traits! Then again, the list of things that made her cute was endless!

"Don't worry, Rin. You'll be with me! I admit, I'm not the safest driver when I'm driving by myself. But how dare you think I'd let anything bad happen to my most important person!" I told her, not lying about one word. I was her protector. At least, when I was around...I felt a tinge of guilt at that moment, remembering that I'd been gone for years. Who'd been watching her? I wondered if her older brothers- who'd been so immature at the time I'd left- had finally stepped up to the plate to protect their naive little sister from all the things that could hurt her. I could only hope...Yet, I was slightly jealous of them. That was supposed to be _myyy_ job! I had no right to be jealous though, even if they had, they'd only been doing what I'd been too much of a coward to do for her when I baled four years ago. I was out of my self-hating thoughts when I felt Rin reach for the helmet that I'd been offering her for the last several seconds.

She still looked a bit stand-offish toward the thought of riding with me, so I gave a reassuring smile, at least what I hoped was reassuring. I hadn't given anyone that smile in years. That was specifically _her_ smile. She smiled back cutely as she fasted the helmet.

I then picked her up and placed her on the further back side of the seat. As I was about to take my place in front of her, I noticed her feet hanging off the sides. My bike was made for one at all. I'd never considered the idea of having a girl on it with me when I bought it in my sophmore year of college. Even during the time I was running away from her, in fear of feeling like even more of a pervert, being in love with a girl who's still practically a child, I knew that I'd never find a girl that I loved like Rin.

"Put your feet on my pegs." I directed, pointing to mine that were only a couple inches in front of her feet.

"Where will your's go?" She said, looking at me, confused.

"On top of your's, Silly!" I replied, hoping that my feet would keep her feet more stable considering I knew that he short, yet toned, legs would never be long enough to sit on top of the pegs comfortably.

"You're gonna have to hold on to me pretty tight, 'kay Rin?" I told her as I sat down in front of her.

I was happy as she pulled her arms around me. The feel of her touch never quiet got old. I'd missed it for the longest time, and couldn't possibly make up for it enough, even if I stayed with her forever, which I intended to.

"Where's your helmet?" I heard her ask from behind me, seeming almost concerned that _I_ would be the one to get hurt.

I laughed. "I hardly wear that thing when you're _not_ here, Rin, why would I wear it when you are? Like I said, your safety is the most important thing to me."

I loved seeing the smile on her face after hearing me say this. Any smile from Rin was a good smile. I stopped staring at her dazed expression long enough to start my bike. She seemed a bit startled by the sound but calmed down after a moment.

"Don't forget, Rin! Don't let go of me for anything!" I reminded.

She nodded. I felt her little arms gripping around me tighter. I smiled at the feel of her hands gripping my chest.

Then I took off. I felt Rin gasp as soon as I did this, but it didn't sound like she was scared. It sounded like she was surprised. Maybe even enjoying the feel of being on a motorcycle. It always was a pretty great feeling- riding a motorcycle for the first time in your life. I was glad to get to be the one with her during this experience.

"Fun?" I asked, glancing back at her for a moment with a slight smile on my face.

"Very! Thanks for letting me go with you!" She replied. I could hear the pounding of her heart just in her voice. She seemed to really be enjoying it.

"Hold me tighter." I told her. This wasn't for her benefit at all. This was merely because I wanted what any normal guy would want- the feel of the girl he loved, gripping him as tightly as possible.

"Why?" She asked, peeking around my arm to look at my face.

"'Cause I asked you to." I lied. Well, not exactly _lied_, but that wasn't exactly the reason.

I felt her grip around me tighter, stuffing the side of her face into my back. I sighed in satisfaction. I really _had_ missed her! I needed this.

After a couple more moments of enjoying her feel, I spent the rest of the ride contemplating where we should go. I realized that it was still school hours and that she shouldn't be seen outside of school right now. I hadn't been around someone her age in a long time, at least not one who I would be going out with anywhere. I knew that people would assume that she was skipping school, and with an adult man, nonetheless! I couldn't have anyone thinking that my sweet little Rin was a trouble maker!

So I decided the best place for us to go was my own house. I had to consider for a moment, however, whether I was be able to contain myself, being able to be so close to Rin...completely alone. For the first time we could be like this since she'd become a teenager, since she'd started to look a bit more mature, in the obvious aspects, of course. She _haaad_ after all, just caused me to be extremely horny just before we left school. I questioned my own motives before deciding that I knew myself well enough to know that I would never allow myself to take Rin's innocence- in any way possible! At least...not when she's so young. At least...I'd hope.

About the time I was done thinking, we were at the entrance of my neighborhood. I drove us up to my house and stopped in front of my driveway.

"Where are we?" She asked, jumping off the bike.

"My house!" I replied with an excited smile. I knew my house was pretty nice, and would probably be able to impress a few people, if I do say so myself.

Her head quirked to the side. "Why are we here? Don't get me wrong! I'd love to go inside! This place is super nice! I'm just curious as to why." She told me, obviously trying not to offend while inquiring why I'd brought her to such a private place. At least, that's why I assumed she was asking.

"Well...you're a student who's outside of school- during school hours- I figured we shouldn't raise suspicions or cause people to ask questions. It's easier to just stay out of public right now. Plus, I'm also an adult male, it'd look pretty bad for me to be hanging around a teenager girl, who looks even younger than that!" I told her, as if I cared about if _I_ was seen out in public with _her. _It was merely because I didn't want people getting ideas as to why she was hanging out with such an older man.

"Well then what are we waiting for? I wanna see the inside!" She said, enthused. She pulled me by the hang, bringing me up to the door.

I laughed, unlocking the door for her and waving my hand inside invitingly. "Go ahead."

She was looking at everything carefully. For a moment, I almost felt a bit insecure. Though she was doing a great job of not seeming like it, it was almost as though she was judging my home. And though I knew I had a nice home according to most, Rin's opinion was the only one that mattered.

She twirled around, almost in a dancing fashion, to face me. What happened next though was a bit surprising. She was much closer than I'd expected her to be. It was my own fault for walking so close behind her in the first place. But the feeling was still a bit surprising, in the "must-not-allow-her-to-see-that-I'm-extremely-attracted-to-her-right-now" kind of way. My breath caught, and I could tell that she was having a bit trouble with her own before I heard her next words.

"Am I allowed to see your room?" She asked.

"...Um...my room...no" I said, stuttering. Partially because of the paper-thin distance between us, partially because my room was the ONE room in my house that I would never allow anyone to see. Especially not Rin!

She lower lip jutted out, disappointed. "Why not?"

"'Cause it's my house. It's not like when we were kids and you were allowed to roam through my house as you please. This home is legally mine, not my parent's. So I'm allowed to tell you where you are and aren't allowed to go, aren't I?" I told her, being a bit cold. I tended to get like that when I got nervous.

"...I'm gonna go!" She replied, standing up on her tip toes to tell me right in my face. Before I had time to comprehend what she'd just told me she was gonna do, she was already half way up my stairs. Normally, I would've been able to catch her before she was able to see see it, but this was one of those times when she was being really unpredictable.

I ran after her, but by the time I caught up to her, she was already at the door of my room, staring at everything with wide eyes. My eyes shut tightly in embarrassment and frustration. That was when I realized though: I always had been, and still was, most comfortable with Rin. If anyone was to see this side of me, this unorganized, unpressumeable, obviously disastrous side of me, I'd want it to be her. She was the only one who I never had to worry about being judged with. The only one who I was perfectly myself with. And this messy, hot mess side, was still me.

"I'm sorry...My room is messy too if it makes you feel better." She said, seemingly trying to calm me. I wanted to laugh at her for thinking that I needed to be calmed. She thought I was _angry_?

"I'm...I'm sorry. ...Well, I'm gonna be honest: I'm glad you're the one to see this." I told her, feeling release as I said the words.

She smiled brightly, wrapping her arms around me as far as they would go, tightly. "I love you, Sesshomaru."

"I love you, Sesshomaru." She said preciously, sounding jubilant.

I loved those words coming from her mouth. I knew in my head that she only meant this in a little girl/older brother kind of way. Yet I loved hearing it from her. I wanted to be most important to her in every way, including this one! I had to be, I'd always _needed_ to be her most important person, for my own selfish reason. I knew that I didn't deserve to be her everything, with my "I don't think of you as much more of a nuisance" attitude that I'd given her as a stupid teenage boy, knowing that I was scared to show her anything else in fear that too much love would be shown and people would realize that I'd been in love with her in so many way even from the time she was young, and my leaving for four years for the selfish reason of trying to get over her and find girls my own age. After four years away and still being in love with her and missing her more than ever, I knew there was no hope for me. I was hopelessly in love with a 16 year old girl even up to the age of 22, and I was happy being with her. Even if all she could know was that I loved her like a brother would love a sister.

"I love you too, Rin. Iv'e missed you." I replied, wanting to say so much more.

"I missed this side of you. And every other side! There's nothing I needed more than to have you as my teacher and be able to see you every day of the week." She told me, burying her head in my chest.

"Can I tell you a secret, Rin?" I asked, wondering what I was getting myself into.

"Of course!" She replied happily.

"When I stopped talking to you while I was in college...It was because I was trying to get over you..." I paused, trying to find the right words.

"What do you mean?" She asked, looking up at me, loosening her grip around my waist in the process. I missed the feel of her arms around me as soon as it left.

"I...nevermind. Let's just say that I needed to be around more girls my own age...But it didn't work." I admitted, trying to hide as many details as possible, wondering if I'd been too clear, even for dense little Rin.

Her head quirked to the side in confusion. "You didn't like having me around all the time?" She asked, sounding a bit hurt.

I shook my head, surprised at her terrible misconception. "No, I did! ...That was the problem."

...

*To Be Continued! XP Haha don't you guys love me? :D No? ...Well I love you! X3 Which is why I'm dragging this out so long! I want you to come back for more! Plus I'm really enjoying this story! :) Definitely my favorite out of the ones I've posted on here! I'm pretty excited to start the next chapter! ^.^ It miiiiight be the last, but perhaps not! Like I said, I never know how my stories are gonna turn out! No more than you guys do O.o Lol anyways, please keep checking up on this story regularly to check for updates! Idk when the next one will be, but hopefully soon! =3 ...I really should know when my updates are gonna be considering I'm the author, huh? *.* Haha well I don't! Anyways, please add this to your story updates, and favorite me as an author if you wish! Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter(: Maybe ya'll will hear from me soon :D Thanks for reading!*


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey Guys! :D It's been quite a while since I updated, huh? O.o Haha I'm really sorry! I've been really busy :/ I got a new job at sonic a couple months ago, so I've been really busy with that, cross country practice, and school...not to mention my new boyfriend! Wooooah! ;D Hahaha but y'know...I realized that I've been running out of fun stuff to do on the computer...And that's when I update! X3 Haha anyways, please enjoy this chapter of My Childhood Friend, Love Interest, and Teacher! :)***

Rin POV:

"No, I did! ...That was the problem." I heard him say, seeming to be choosing his words carefully. I didn't understand what he meant by this. How would liking having me around be a problem?

"Why was it a problem?" I liked having _you _around..." I asked, confused.

His head fell, seeming a bit flustered. "But you're a child! And I'm practically your big brother! I was just...so wrong to feel like I did._..do."_

I was so confused by the end of his second. It was times like this that I began to think people were right when they said that there wasn't much going on in my head, from the way Sesshomaru looked at me, it seemed as though what he was implying should be clear as day...And yet I didn't understand at all.

"Sesshomaru...please don't feel bad...I've always hated when you feel bad...You really need to realize though, now more than ever...I'm not a child. I'm still young, yes. But Sesshomaru, there's girls my age who are already mothers. I'm legally allowed yo have a job. And as naïve as you tend to think I am, my mind has matured a lot since 4 years ago, when you last saw me." I said, looking him dead in the eyes.

He looked down at me with the same expression I was giving him, however, his looked more contemplative rather than convincing.

"...Rin, do you really not understand what I'm saying?" He asked, gently placing his hands on my shoulders, looking me over for a couple moments.

"Um...Ummmmm...No! ...Could you please put it simpler?" I said, looking nervously at the floor, embarrassed.

He smiled a bit, slightly amused, but I could still see that he was more stressed than I liked him to be, for whatever reason.

He thumped me on my head, looking playfully annoyed. I flinched, quickly pulling my hand up to feel the sore spot. He laughed.

"You've always been like this! If you can't put what I've been saying this whole time together in your head, then you don't need to know!" He said. He looked at me as though he really was aggrivated that I didn't understand him. This wasn't his normal reaction, when he would just make me feel dumb, then we would laugh it off seconds later. This was his frustration at me for not realizing something...something that he obviously wanted me to know...If he wanted me to know whatever it was, why couldn't he just tell me?

"Sesshomaru! _Pleaseeeee_ tell me! I'm sorry for being dumb, I just...Don't get it. Please...I'll be your best _friiiiiend_!" I begged.

He looked at me, seeming to have a bit of hurt in his eyes. "...Rin, remember when you were young, and you made me promise that if you told me that secret of yours, I'd marry you when you're older...'No matter how ugly you get'?" He asked, quoting a young me.

My mouth dropped open. I asked him early today if he remembered that and he denied all knowledge of it! Noooooo_w_ his memory suddenly returned to him!

"...Okay, I lied earlier about not remembering it." He replied, obviously reading my thoughts. "Well, that made me really happy. Because I already intended to marry you, I knew this even when you were so young...God, I feel like such an old pervert right now!" He told me, rubbing his forehead.

Suddenly, the lightbulb finally went off in my head! Sesshomaru _did_ have feelings for me like I did him! I couldn't help but wonder automatically if his feelings had changed since then. Surely, they had...He'd been away from me, surrounded by pretty college girls for four years. But after all this time of wondering, I had to force myself to ask...

"Sesshomaru, you're not a pervert! ...If you were, I'd also be a pervert for feeling the same about you, wouldn't I? Could I ask you something though?..." The end of my statement _hardly_ had a question mark in it. I _couldn't_ leave his house today until I knew for sure if there was any feelings whatsoever left after all the time that'd passed. Even if it was only a little! I could work with it, or at least live with it...There's was no way after all these years that I could get over him, so I needed specifically him, or no one.

He sighed. "Sure, we need to talk anyways. Let's sit." He said, picking me up and bringing me to his bed so that I wouldn't have to step around all the clutter.

"What is it?" He inquired as he sat down next to me.

"...I...I was wondering if you still feel that way about me?..." I stuttered.

He paused. I stared, awaiting an answer. "...At all?..." I asked, knowing that the slight break in my voice sounded desperate.

He laughed bitterly. "...More than you'll ever know." He brought his expression, that seemed to be so scared for fear of judgement, up to look at me. This side of him was shocking to me, who'd only seen him as the strong type, which normally, he was. But now, he was so insecure, so human.

His words, however, after I actually opened my ears and heard more than the obvious 'no' that I'd been expecting, I couldn't help but smile. After all this time! He finally said it! He finally took away my insecurities of my unrequited love I'd been feeling all along. Perhaps he'd been feeling them too...I didn't dwell on this thought for long before remembering how screamingly obvious I'd made my feelings for him ever since we met, he couldn't have possibly wondered for any moment in time whether I had feelings for him.

However, the insecure feeling I would normally get when thinking about this was gone now. I felt the relief of not having to worry if I would have to live forever without Sesshomaru returning my feelings.

I couldn't think of any way to respond other than to give him the biggest hug of my life. I shoved my head into his chest as I smiled into it, knowing that this was the best I'd felt in years, possibly ever.

"Sesshomaru, I love you too! I always have. I never stopped, even when you were gone, I never stopped..." I told him, not willing to let him go.

I felt the shaking of his chest as he laughed. I looked up, seeing his smiling face. "To think, you honestly never knew that I was in love with you...You're really dense, Rin." He teased.

I frowned. "It's not like you were being screamingly obvious like me! Do you know how many time I mustv'e indirectly confessed my feelings for you!" I laughed.

"I knew you loved me when you were young. But I also knew that children have crushes on anyone in sight and tend to exhaggerate and call it love...Yet you were able to wait for me, for all this time..." He looked at me with love in his eyes, pulling me away for a moment and putting his hands on my shoulders to hold me up.

My next action was never to be assumed, I hardly even realized I was doing it. But I couldn't help crushing my lips onto his as I layed on top of him, feeling perfectly in love. I could tell I'd taken him by surprise by his reaction. He pushed me off of him only seconds after our lips touched, with more force than I'd expect from someone who'd always been so gentle with me, as if the slightest nudge would kill me. This time, however, seemed like he was eager. As though he'd needed me off of him right THEN. I ended up almost falling off the bed, only catching myself by reflexively placing a hand on the bed to keep myself up.

His eyes were wide, staring at me as if he couldn't believe that I'd dared to kiss him; I thought that was what people did after establishing that they were in love...

"Wha...What is it?" I asked, confused and probably looking a bit hurt, I'd never expected to be rejected so abrubtly.

"_Never_ do that again!" He said, his voice was full of bite.

My confidence fell for a moment, even after feeling assured just a moment ago that the man I'd loved for years felt the same for me. Perhaps it was that he wanted me, just not physically...The thought of the person I loved not being attracted to me in that way stung a bit.

"..._Why?_" I asked, my voice probably sounding more pleading than I'd intended it to.

"You're still a girl, Rin. I love you, but I really think that anything physical needs to wait until you're older."

I frowned. He still thought of me as a girl. Why did 6 years have to be such a big deal! I would be 18 in less than 2 years!

"Sesshomaru...that's really not fair." I began, "I'm still a teenager. Just because you think all of my thoughts are so innocent doesn't mean I don't want all the things that a normal teenager would. You're an adult, you don't have these problems..."

His eyes went wide, seeming as though he couldn't possibly believe that his innocent little Rin had any sort of desires like that. "How..._When _did this happen?" He asked in shock.

"I don't know. Probably a few months ago. Don't get all flustered, it's not like I've had anything to take it out on. You weren't here, and even _after_ you get here, you still tell me no..._When_ then, Sesshomaru?"

His expression looked a bit releaved, as though he'd been worried that I'd been doing things with other boys. Why would I even _want to_ have any sort of experience with anyone else. What did he think I'd become? I'd never been willing to date anyone or even lose my first kiss because I was waiting for _him_.

"I don't know, Rin. I guess whenever I think you're mature enough. You're too innocent for even kissing, no matter what you think. Even from what you're saying, it's obvious that you're not half as perverse as the girls your age. I'm proud of you for that. Never change. I've always loved the innocent side of you, that cute, child-like side that everyone sees in you and knows will never change. You give off an innocent and pure vibe that only children and extremely simple minded adults are capable of. And don't think that just because I'm not a teenager, my needs aren't still twice as bad as yours, Rin. I'm still a guy!" He told me, thumping my head playfully.

"...You never act like it." I replied, keeping my head down, slightly in embarrassment.

He laughed. "I could say the same about you! I'd never assume you have anything but pure thoughts had you not told me that. And if you haven't noticed, I'm good at keeping myself composed."

"Not today!" I teased.

"I'm just comfortable today is all, at least with you." He explained. "I've never really seen my unedited side before, even with you. I didn't know I had one."

I smiled. "I like your unedited side. It lets me know that you're human too. That you have immature and embarrassed and insecure thoughts just like the rest of the imperfect people in the world."

He smiled. "You're the only girl I couldv'e ever met that would feel that way. After seeing how supposably 'perfect' I'm capable of being, most girls wouldn't want to know that I'm not a maniquin without imperfect thoughts or emotions or jealousy or annoyance. You're the only girl I couldv'e ever met who wouldv'e made me feel nearly as good as you do! Believe me, I've looked." He told me, sounding a bit ashamed.

"What do you mean?" I asked, my head quirking to the side.

"Like I said, when I went to college, it wasn't because I had the un-dying urge to teach bratty high school students. It was because I had to get away from you; allow myself to get over you...Or at least try. It didn't work. All I learned in college was that you're the only girl in the world that's not a slut, bitch, or just plain annoying to me...Which didn't exactly help in the getting over you part. You can't believe how much of a pervert I felt like when I was surrounded by what everyone said was hott girls and was fantisizing about being with a girl who was still a kid at the time." He said, looking down, laughing a bit bitterly.

I picked his head up, holding the sides of his face with my hands, pouting at him slightly. "Sesshomaru, please stop acting like you're such a terrible person just for loving me. It makes me so happy that you love me, I wish you could just be happy about it too instead of constantly regretting ever getting the feeling. Granted, I don't understand _why _you love me, I'm so glad you are. I wouldv'e never been able to give up on you until the day I die." I said with a smile, "Age is nothing but a number. The reason you've liked me since I was young was only because I was always around you. It's understandable to aquire feelings for someone who you see everyday and who reminds you regularly that they like you."

He shook his head. "It wasn't because I was always around you, Rin. It had nothing to do with you constantly telling me that you had feelings for me. It was because you had traits that I knew I could never find in anyone else. You were perfect. You never do wrong knowingly. You never have bad thoughts towards anyone. Your mind is pure in every way. I know that I could never find a girl to love the way I do you."

I smiled widely at his words, taking my hands away from his face and wrapping them around his neck, seeing as we were sitting down so I could actually reach it.

"I love you, Sesshomaru. You made this the happiest day of my life." I whispered into his ear, sitting on my knees.

"I hope to give you plenty more." He replied. I could hear the smile in his voice.

I backed away from him after a few more moments of holding eachother. I then granced back and forth, then looked at him, confused. "What do we do now?"

He laughed. "I don't know. I wasn't planning for the day to go like this..."

"Should we go back to school?" I asked, my eyes widening.

He smiled wider. "Your first thought is always to do the right thing, Rin. ...What sounds fun right now?"

I put a finger on my chin as if in intense thought, and then raised it to the air as if I was Einstein. "Video games!"

He chuckled. "So you've picked up a few new hobbies since I last saw you, I suppose?" He put a gentle hand on my head as he got out of bed.

He waved a hand for me to follow him, where ever he was going. I jumped out of his bed to follow after him. He led me downstairs, to his big screen TV with an Xbox 360 attached, with several different video games scattered across the surrounding area. I picked up the first appealing one I saw, and held it up for him to see, Modern Warfare 3.

I smiled playfully at him. "You _do_ realize that I'm gonna kick your ass, right?" I winked.

He laughed. "If you can kick my ass at a game that I've mastered twice, I'll buy you lunch after this!"

I did a run/jump onto his couch, being used to knowing that Sesshomaru wasn't the type to get ancy about people's mis-use of his belongings, especially me. "Cool! Video games and a free lunch. Sounds like a good deal to me!"

From the time we started playing, he understood that my threats about beating him weren't a joke. I was making him look like a newby in the first three minutes of game time. When we were finished, after several cuss words under his breath and childish complaints about getting beaten by a girl, he looked to me with his mouth wide open.

"Might wanna close that before flies get in." I teased, tapping his jaw to hint that I was referring to his mouth, if there was in fact any room for misconceptions.

He laughed, closing his eyes, seeming to be in disbelief that I actually had a competative side. "I've gotta say, having a girlfriend who can beat me at my own game is both sexy and humiliating."

I giggled. "Let's just stick to sexy for now. I like that one better." I gave him a quick peck on the lips before remembering that he'd asked me not to do that.

I covered my mouth with my hand after pulling away, looking at him for a response. "I'm sorry. I forgot..."

He took a deep breath and smiled. "It's okay. I'm a grown man, I have some control. I'm not going to attack you just because of a peck on the lips."

I tilted my head to the side in confusion. "Attack me? Why would you wanna do that in the first place? You're too nice."

He laughed, cursing under his breath again. "You really don't know the half of it, huh Rin? This is how I know you're not the slightest bit ready for anything physical, and that you're not perversed at all, as much as you think you know how bad people are...you have no idea about the thoughts that go through my head..._anyone's_ head...about you, specifically."

He was beginning to scare me a little, though I was sure it was unintentional...I'd never thought anyone was as bad as he was able to make them seem in that one simple sentence. He said it as though I was the only one left in the world who wasn't constantly thinking bad thoughts...I had no idea what to say, or even what he meant, really.

"You're...You're joking, right? You make yourself sound so bad...You make everyone sound so bad. They're not bad..._you're_ not bad...at all. You're good, Sesshomaru. People are good. You just have to believe in them and know that..."

I couldn't finish my sentence, seeing as I was cut off by an angry seeming Sesshomaru, grabbing me by the shoulders as if trying to shake some sense into me.

"NO Rin! People are _bad_! Just because you don't see it, doesn't mean the world isn't a terrible place for such a naïve and trusting girl like you to live in! The reason no one tells you all of these bad things is because they think it'll be so much easier to trick you without you knowing that they think such bad things about you, or because they don't want to ruin your good opinions of them, or if nothing else, they don't want to ruin your perfect innocence that no one ever sees anymore! ...You just...you have no idea..." He stopped for a moment as he looked into my eyes and saw that his words were making me sad. He took a moment to compose himself, releasing my shoulders in the process.

"Rin...you're _so_ important to me. You'd understand then, why I don't want anyone else thinking bad thoughts about you, even if you're not aware of what they're thinking...even if your innocent, cute little mind would never understand why people would wanna think such..._repulsive_ thoughts about you...but they do...all the time. I've heard the boys in your class talking to each other about you, Rin. You're like a play thing for their minds..._God_, I wish I could just give you a fucking dress code so that none of them would ever see you from the neck down or the ankles up! All of those fucking hormonal little high school boys!" He said, seeming to not even be talking to me anymore. He was just pissed. And I didn't even understand why.

I placed a hand on his shoulder to try to calm him, even if only a little bit. "Sesshomaru...it's okay. I understand. I don't necessarily understand _everything_ you told me. But I know that it doesn't feel good to have others think in that way about the person you care about. I'm the worst when it comes to jealousy. Please just don't worry about me so much. I'll be okay. I've made it to the age of sixteen without being severely molested or raped." I told him, trying to lighten the mood.

He grimaced. "Please don't joke about that... You do realize that if any guy were to touch you in any way more than a friend or brother would, I would literally kill him." There was no note of sarcasm in his tone. He meant it.

"Possessive much?" I joked.

He laughed, darkly, still obviously not recovered from his negative thoughts about any guys who looked at me for more than a moment. "You have no idea. I wouldv'e done the same even before I'd confessed my love for you. It's just that now, I have the right to hate them for my own personal reasons."

"How is it personal to you?" I asked, curious as to how guys looking at or touching me related to him personally.

"_Myyy _girl means my issues." He stated simply.

"Your girl?" I asked, smiling lightly.

He smiled genuinely for a moment, seeming to be brought out of his hatred of all things male for the moment, having the thought that I was his brought to mind.

"You're so much more than that. You're more than my girl. I don't even know what to call you...All of the things you mean to me can't be described in one word..."

"Beloved? My Love?" I asked, laying down, facing up so that my head was on his lap as we sat together on the couch.

"Those could work." He said with a smile.

I took a moment to stare up at him. "I love you so much, Sesshomaru. I can't believe you're actually mine now..."

He laughed. "And there are plenty of guys who would hate my guts if they knew that you're mine now."

"Haters gonn' hate!" I joked brightly.

He laughed. "You're so cute, Rin...Now, about what I was saying about that dress code for you..." He started.

I laughed even louder than he had previously. "I'm not gonna walk around in turtle necks and ankle length skirts, Sesshomaru!"

He chuckled. "Woah! Who said anything about skirts? We're sticking to lose fitting jeans from now on!"

I giggled. "You'd have to dress me yourself if you ever wanted me to wear that! Which I mean..._IIII _wouldn't mind..." I joked, winking playfully.

He grunted a warning. "Never."

I huffed. "Meanie!"

He chuckled. "It's not my fault that you're desirable, Rin! Maybe if you gain about a hundred pounds and stop putting in effort completely...Nawww, nevermind. You'd still be attractive!" He joked.

I giggled. "Ewwww! Don't worry! I'd never do that to you, Sesshomaru!"

He laughed. "_Toooo_ me? Please! You'd be doing it for me! Do you know how much easier this whole ignoring-my guy-ish-urges would be if I was dating an ugly girl!"

I laughed. He really thought I was pretty? I smiled to myself. Even if I was the most insecure girl on the planet, having his approval would be all I need.

"What's that?" He asked, inquiring what I was laughing about.

"Nothing. Just really happy that you actually find me appealing. As attractive as you are, and how many girls want you, you're actually satisfied having _me_..."

He laughed. "Rin, you really don't understand just _how_ appealing you are. You're cute, sexy, beautiful...You're attractive in every way a girl can possibly be. I'm honestly the luckiest guy in the world. You make Megan Fox look like shit."

I laughed. I'd never compared myself to other girls, it just never made sense to me when girls did that. It never really seemed like a good way to identify yourself, saying: "Oh, I'm not as pretty as this girl, but I'm _waaaay_ prettier than that girl"...I never understood why it mattered. As long as the person you care about thinks you're pretty, that should be all that matters.

"Well I've heard practically every girl in our school talk about how easily her panties would drop if you just said the world. You could become a total player if you chose to be." I laughed, somewhat bitterly about all of the girls who were making eyes at the man who really _did_ belong to me.

"No thanks. I'd rather not go to jail for a bunch of slutty high school girls." He said laughing.

I gave him a quizzical look. "Then you're with me because...?" I asked.

He chuckled. "Well first of all, you're not a slut in any way, shape, or form. Second of all...you're worth it, trust me." He replied with a wink.

I just about died and went to Heaven at that moment. He obviously noticed the satisfaction in my expression at that moment, because he laughed, picking up my head and kissing me for about FIVE WHOLE SECONDS on the lips.

When he sat up, he smiled at me. "See, I can control myself just fine."

I smiled. But for some reason, I had a flash of insecurity. He seemed to know what he was doing as far as kissing went. I had to wonder how far he'd gone with girls...who weren't me...

"...Can we play twenty questions?" I asked.

He seemed a bit confused by the offer. "I don't see why not. We do have some catching up to do. Alright, you go first." He suggested.

"What's the furthest you've gone with a girl?" I asked.

He chuckled. "Rin, is that the only reason you wanted to play this?"

I kept a straight face. "You have to answer the question you're asked before you can ask one." I was too scared of what his response would be to entertain him.

"...Alright. In college, like I said...I was trying to get my mind off of you...force myself to become interested in other girls. So...I fucked them...A lot of them. I was a total player in college. They were all sluts, and like you said, more girls than just you are attracted to me. I regret it...especially now. I'd never been planning on saving myself for you, but I'd also never thought I'd stay with you. I thought I'd find a girl who was able to distract me from you for long enough for me to fall in love with her at least a fraction of how I felt about you. But that never happened. All they did was remind me of why I love you so much, and how you're so much different than every superficial bitch in the world. By the time I realized that, I'd stopped even trying to count how many girls I'd fucked. I'm sorry, Rin..." He said, his voices volume slowly going down as his obvious shame grew.

He'd had his head down the entire time he was explain his college sex life to me, so it wasn't until he looked up that he saw the very obvious tears streaming down my face that I was desperately trying to hide. When I felt his gaze on me, I quickly turned my face away from him. He grabbed my face, trying to turn it back to him.

After a couple moments, realizing that I wasn't going to budge, he settled with reasoning with me. "Rin...Please let me see your eyes..."

I shook my head. "No, I'm fine, really. I shouldn't even be crying right now. I'm sorry about this...This is stupid. That was a stupid question. Of course a guy like you wouldn't wait for me. Don't worry about me though please, it makes things worse..." I didn't want to speak. Because my voice sounded weak. It was so obvious in the way I was speaking that I wasn't okay. I was doing a terrible job of hiding it, and he knew it...

He got up to and knelt down in front of me so that we were at eye level. I was done avoiding eye contact with him. He knew I was crying. The only thing avoiding his eyes was doing was causing me to look childish.

"Rin...I'm sorry...I'm so, _so_ sorry. You have no idea what I'd give to take away so many things I've fucked things up for us in the past. Please forgive me, Rin. _Please_..." His voice was pleading, almost as weak as mine had been.

The straight face I was trying so hard to keep broke. I didn't look mad, so I didn't understand why he was asking for my forgiveness. I didn't look mad, just weak.

"Please don't apologize...You really didn't do anything wrong. You're a guy. You're going to do what any regular guy would do. I'm not upset with you. Please don't think that. It only makes it harder to not be sad. That's all I am, really...Just sad...Wishing I was at the same level as you in some way. Either we'd both kept it for each other...or both lost it to others..." I told him, almost emotionlessly. There was still moments when my voice went weak though, at the thoughts I vocalized to him that made me particularly sad.

His expression fell. "Rin...Do you really wish you'd lost it to someone else? ...Other than me...?" His eyes were almost begging for me to say no.

I didn't even have to think about my response. I knew the answer. "No." I stated. Of course I didn't want to do things like that with anyone but Sesshomaru. Thoughts like that involving anyone but Sesshomaru had always repulsed me. Even if I _did_ lie and say I wanted to, there would be no way I could go through with it. I was so hopeless. _So fucking hopeless_. "_It's not fair_!" I said, finally breaking and acting like the child I really was. "Why do _IIIIIII_ have to be the one who wants only you! Why does the thought of anyone else have to repulse me? It's not fucking fair! We're supposed to love each other equally! I don't wanna be the loser in the relationship who cares about you so much more than you do me, while you still allow me to live in a fantasy would where we're both equally happy to be together...It's...it's not fair, Sesshomaru..." I said, my voice breaking occasionally for sobs. My head unknowingly fell onto his shoulder, and he held it there with his hand, gently stroking my hand. His arms were the last place I wanted to be at the moment. They made me feel so insecure. So much like everything I'd described to him...So why were they still the most comforting place I could ever be?

"I...I know it's not fair, Rin. It's all my fault. I'm so sorry. It has nothing to do with you not being worth waiting for, I really wish you hadn't said that...That such a lie. You're the only girl I ever want to touch...I'm so sorry I'm such a fuck up, Rin...You really do have a heart of gold. Even after finding out that I've had sex with girls that I can't even remember the names of, you still only want me...You're amazing." He whispered, still stroking my hair.

I sobbed. "I don't _want_ to only want you though! I can't help it...It's as though, after knowing you, I know that being in anyone else's embrace wouldn't feel good at all. I'd only be longing for you the entire time...I don't want that...But I just wish you felt the same..."

"I...I do." He said slowly, carefully.

"No. No, you really don't." I said. That was the first time I was ever firm with him out of aggravation. "You're a guy. It's different for you. You can't lie to me about that. You can't say that during any of those times you were having sex with other girls, you weren't admiring their assets and enjoying the feelings they gave you..."

"RIN!" He interrupted, obviously thinking that what I'd said was too crude to be coming out of innocent little Rin's mouth.

"What?" I asked without missing a beat, my voice being completely monotone. "As I was saying...I bet, during those times...You never once wished it was me. You were glad that it was girls your own age...probably knew what they were doing a lot better than me too, 'cause we both know that I would have no idea what the fuck I'm doing. That's not even what this is about...I just feel like, when..._if_...we ever have sex...it'd feel so non-personal for you...you'll have experienced it so many times before...with so many girls who meant nothing to you...even if you love me, sex with me will make no difference for you. We both know that..."

His lips quivered as he looked up at me. I could see that he regretted his choice in telling me the truth about having had sex in college, if nothing else, to save me from all these bad feelings. "Rin...Please take that back. You know that's not true..."

I hesitated for a moment before speaking. "...Even if I take it back, it doesn't mean that I'll stop believing it. It's no one's fault, don't blame yourself...it's my fault for being dumb about all of this...Well I'm done complaining now. I'm fine. Let's just talk about something else please." I lied, looking back up at him with a weak smile.

"Rin...seeing you feigning happiness is worse than seeing you sad. What can I do to make this up to you? I'll do anything, Rin." He said, his voice lowering.

"There's nothing I want from you...You're not the one I'm upset with...I'm not even upset with anyone...except for maybe those girls who gave themselves to you so easily...I might have a few words to say to them...Other than that, I'm just very disheartened, is all." I explained.

His head fell. He kept one hand one my head, holding it there as if me leaving his grasp at that moment would be the end of the world, and the other hand on my back in a slight hug. "If there's nothing you want, Rin, then I'll just have to make it up to you over time. I'll have to treat you like a perfect princess and more from this day on, until there's no more bitterness left from this day whatsoever." He said this sounding determined. I couldn't understand why it mattered so much to him that he made it up to me...I wasn't mad at him to begin with.

I pulled away, much to his disappointment. His eyes stayed on the floor, and his arms draped awkwardly at his sides, seeming as though his body didn't know what to do without me in the picture.

I picked his head up, not at all enjoying the sight of him looking so disappointed in himself. I looked him straight in the eyes, my face was three inches away from his, tops. I held his jaw in my hands to keep his focus on me as I said my next words. "Sesshomaru...despite the last five minutes or so, this really has been the best day of my life. Because of you. You have nothing to make up for."

I could tell this wasn't enough for him. That he would stop at nothing to make me happy from here, just because of the few short moments when he didn't. However, that didn't stop him from pulling me in to touch his lips to mine. It was a needy kiss. Almost as though this kiss was to say that he _did_ wish that those girls had been me. That he _did_ want no one but me. And for the moment, until I was on equal playing fields with the girls from his past, this longing, passionate, and especially loving kiss was enough for me.

**Welp, that was what you guys wanted right? *.* Maybe not the whole crying scene and all, but a new chapter was nice xD Haha I already have some ideas for the next chapter!(: Don't know when it'll be up, but just know that it's coming :3 Please keep reading and commenting and all that good stuff! =D Haha thanks! Love you guys!**


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